MARRIAGE
Marriage is between one man and one woman. Those who were leaders in the church and set the example were to be “the husband of one wife” (Titus 1:6; 1 Timothy 3:2). From the beginning of creation, God said, “They two shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31), not they 13 shall be one flesh. In the Old Testament, there are examples of polygamy, but even then it was not God’s best, as He declared, “Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away” (Deuteronomy 17:17). This became the downfall of King Solomon (1 Kings 11:4). And marriage is not of the same sex but between a man and a woman. As others have said, it was: “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” (see HOMOSEXUAL). There is no marriage in heaven, and those who teach that there is need to read the Bible. “And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God? For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven” (Mark 12:24–25).
How many children should we have?
Marriage was God’s plan for bringing children into the world and raising them. In the Bible it was not looked upon as a curse to have lots of children. You may have heard before how the world treats those with many children.
When you have one child, they will say, “How nice.” When you have two children: “You’re complete.” When you have three children, they will count, “One, two, three, all yours?” and look at you as though you do not know what causes children. When you have four children, they will literally come up and tell you, “No more.” I had four people tell us not to have any more children after our fourth child. When you have five children, people will stop inviting you over to their homes. When you have six children, you start to become the butt end of jokes: “The Bible says, ‘be fruitful, and multiply,’ but you don’t have to do it all by yourself.” They will ask, “Are you going to declare yourself a nation?”
“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3–5). My wife and I had six children. Sometimes my wife would tell me how hard it was to take care of them all. I would remind her what the Bible says, happy is the man that has a lot of children. She would respond, “Yes dear, happy is the man.” I believe it is blessing to have lots of children, but I should have done more to help my wife raise them.
The Intimate Relation in Marriage
The intimate relation in marriage is to fulfill each other’s need, not only to have children. “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other” (1 Corinthians 7:2–5). God blesses marriage but judges adultery: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). The roles in marriage are clearly defined in Ephesians 5:22–33. Forbidding ministers to marry is not of God and leads to problems (1 Timothy 4:1–3; see CELIBACY).
“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (1 Corinthians 7:5). Men or women who leave their spouse for weeks or months to work in another city or state are putting their spouse and themselves in temptation. The intimate relation God gave for marriage was not to be broken for money but for “fasting and prayer.”
There was a ceremony in the Bible involving vows (covenant) for marriage (Proverbs 2:17; Malachi 2:14). The Bible tells us to obey the laws of the land, and therefore what the state accepts as a legal marriage is accepted in the eyes of God, except it be against Scripture, as are common law marriages. “Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband” (John 4:16–18). For a man and a women to live in sin is not considered marriage by God. Some have said, “In the eyes of God, we are married,” but if one is not married legally, he or she is not married, and God calls this the sin of fornication in the Bible.
Christians are to marry those who are believers. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). When a couple marries, they should have the approval of both sets of parents: “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12).
Husbands and wives are commanded to love one another: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them” (Colossians 3:19). “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children” (Titus 2:4). A marriage without love is like a flower without water; it will wilt.
One should not assume that because his parents had a good marriage or he thinks himself wise (Proverbs 3:5–7), he does not need God’s help in every area of his life, especially marriage. If my neighbor’s lawn is nicer than mine, it is because he worked at it. One cannot cut, trim, water, weed, and fertilize his lawn once for all time. But if he wants to keep a nice lawn, he will have to keep it up; so with his marriage. It has been said that a good marriage is like a triangle with Christ at the top and the man and the woman at the bottom of the triangle, opposite each other. The closer we get to God at the top, the closer we will find ourselves to each other. Jesus worked His first miracle at a wedding, turning something normal (water) into “good wine.” The reason Christ came to the wedding was because He was invited (John 2:2–11). Every couple should invite Christ into their marriage and let Him be the Head of their home. Jesus Christ made us, and He made marriage. He knows how to make us happy. The same could be said of our jobs or raising our children, as well as our marriage. We all should invite Christ in and ask Him to bless (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:6–9; see DIVORCE).
Marriage is between one man and one woman. Those who were leaders in the church and set the example were to be “the husband of one wife” (Titus 1:6; 1 Timothy 3:2). From the beginning of creation, God said, “They two shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31), not they 13 shall be one flesh. In the Old Testament, there are examples of polygamy, but even then it was not God’s best, as He declared, “Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away” (Deuteronomy 17:17). This became the downfall of King Solomon (1 Kings 11:4). And marriage is not of the same sex but between a man and a woman. As others have said, it was: “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” (see HOMOSEXUAL). There is no marriage in heaven, and those who teach that there is need to read the Bible. “And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God? For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven” (Mark 12:24–25).
How many children should we have?
Marriage was God’s plan for bringing children into the world and raising them. In the Bible it was not looked upon as a curse to have lots of children. You may have heard before how the world treats those with many children.
When you have one child, they will say, “How nice.” When you have two children: “You’re complete.” When you have three children, they will count, “One, two, three, all yours?” and look at you as though you do not know what causes children. When you have four children, they will literally come up and tell you, “No more.” I had four people tell us not to have any more children after our fourth child. When you have five children, people will stop inviting you over to their homes. When you have six children, you start to become the butt end of jokes: “The Bible says, ‘be fruitful, and multiply,’ but you don’t have to do it all by yourself.” They will ask, “Are you going to declare yourself a nation?”
“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3–5). My wife and I had six children. Sometimes my wife would tell me how hard it was to take care of them all. I would remind her what the Bible says, happy is the man that has a lot of children. She would respond, “Yes dear, happy is the man.” I believe it is blessing to have lots of children, but I should have done more to help my wife raise them.
The Intimate Relation in Marriage
The intimate relation in marriage is to fulfill each other’s need, not only to have children. “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other” (1 Corinthians 7:2–5). God blesses marriage but judges adultery: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). The roles in marriage are clearly defined in Ephesians 5:22–33. Forbidding ministers to marry is not of God and leads to problems (1 Timothy 4:1–3; see CELIBACY).
“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (1 Corinthians 7:5). Men or women who leave their spouse for weeks or months to work in another city or state are putting their spouse and themselves in temptation. The intimate relation God gave for marriage was not to be broken for money but for “fasting and prayer.”
There was a ceremony in the Bible involving vows (covenant) for marriage (Proverbs 2:17; Malachi 2:14). The Bible tells us to obey the laws of the land, and therefore what the state accepts as a legal marriage is accepted in the eyes of God, except it be against Scripture, as are common law marriages. “Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband” (John 4:16–18). For a man and a women to live in sin is not considered marriage by God. Some have said, “In the eyes of God, we are married,” but if one is not married legally, he or she is not married, and God calls this the sin of fornication in the Bible.
Christians are to marry those who are believers. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). When a couple marries, they should have the approval of both sets of parents: “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12).
Husbands and wives are commanded to love one another: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them” (Colossians 3:19). “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children” (Titus 2:4). A marriage without love is like a flower without water; it will wilt.
One should not assume that because his parents had a good marriage or he thinks himself wise (Proverbs 3:5–7), he does not need God’s help in every area of his life, especially marriage. If my neighbor’s lawn is nicer than mine, it is because he worked at it. One cannot cut, trim, water, weed, and fertilize his lawn once for all time. But if he wants to keep a nice lawn, he will have to keep it up; so with his marriage. It has been said that a good marriage is like a triangle with Christ at the top and the man and the woman at the bottom of the triangle, opposite each other. The closer we get to God at the top, the closer we will find ourselves to each other. Jesus worked His first miracle at a wedding, turning something normal (water) into “good wine.” The reason Christ came to the wedding was because He was invited (John 2:2–11). Every couple should invite Christ into their marriage and let Him be the Head of their home. Jesus Christ made us, and He made marriage. He knows how to make us happy. The same could be said of our jobs or raising our children, as well as our marriage. We all should invite Christ in and ask Him to bless (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:6–9; see DIVORCE).
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